A letter to my favorite driver ever:
Dear Mr. SUV Man/Ms. SUV Woman,
I was just thinking about you. Remember me from last night? I was the little red car driving in front of you. I was driving down the curvy highway at night, which I haven’t driven on enough times to have memorized all the curves. I know you don’t care how poor my night vision is, or how smudged my windshield was from shitty glass wipes. I was driving the speed limit, but that seemed to make you really unhappy. Why is that? Are you just an angry person in general? Is it because you purchased a gas-guzzling monster of a vehicle, only for gas prices to skyrocket shortly after? If so, don’t take it out on me.
Did you purchase your SUV because you like to intimidate people in smaller cars? I’ll bet you are also one of those people who likes to pull out so far that the person in the car next to you cannot see oncoming traffic to make their turn. Even though you can clearly see over their little car. But I digress.
I was writing because I have a question for you. Exactly what is it that makes you think that by following me too closely with your brights on, I will go faster? Has it not occurred to you that blinding the person in front of you only makes them go slower because they can no longer see the lines or where the curves are? I was having enough trouble before you came along. I was going to get over as soon as there was a passing lane so you could get around me. In fact, I did. Remember? But I wasn’t going to pull over onto the shoulder so your sorry ass could be a speed demon. My apologies. I will see you again tomorrow night, or someone just like you.
Sincerely,
Compact Car Lady
